seryneina sesth

2008-12-26T01:09:00.001+08:00

Should I look for another good job or should I continue studying again?

Note to self: Can I just wait for boyf to pop the question & live happily everafter?

2008-12-22T13:28:00.011+08:00

Okay. I quit! (the day job). Hell jyeah.

Back to late night conversations.

Back to late night hangouts.

Back to late night sleeps.

Back to late afternoons wake-ups.

Back to MYSELF.

At least, for now. YEAAAAY!

Anyway, here's the updated indonesia (batam) pictures,

OUR BEAUTIFUL VILLA.

THAT SPIRAL STAIRCASE.

MY VERY OWN SISTERS.

TWO GROUPS OF SIBLINGS. ONE GROUP OF COUSINS.

MY UMMIE & BAPAK.

UMMIE WIF HER 3 "LOVELY" DAUGHTERS.

MY WONDERFUL FAMILY. (SOME MISSING)

MY NYANYI & NYAYI.

THAT MINI-BUS RIDE TO TOWN.

SEAFOOD.

FROM THE SHORTEST TO THE TALLEST.

KARAOKE.

MY VERY OWN.

&& OH, I WOULD LIKE TO WISH THIS GORGEOUS FRIEND, FYD,

An advance

Happy 20th Birthday! May u live a happy life ahead of you. & May ALLAH bless you.

Note to self: EDWARD CULLEN. OUH LALA!

2008-12-18T19:02:00.002+08:00

I'm back!

I miss being a millionaire.

I miss those shopping heaven's.

I wanna be rich again la, can?

(picture taken from cuzzen mel)

still waiting for kakak to upload the pics.

Till then.

Note to self: back to work or wat? Arrghh! HELL.!

2008-12-12T12:06:00.003+08:00

Goodbye Singapore.
Hello Indonesia.

I'm sorry baby, on the 15th Dec, ur bdae, I won't be there celebrating ur bdae wif u. I've yet to look for ur special bdae present. Its been such a bzy2 scheduled for me eversince I started this full-tyme job, it seems that I have lesser tyme for u. I'm sorry. I promise, I'll spend the whole week wif u during my 20th to 24th leave. We'll be having lots of fun. I'm gonna miss u truckloads.

Note to self: I'll stay wif u no matter wat happens.

2008-12-07T14:44:00.003+08:00

This is so unfair.

Y can't u accept him jus the way he is.

It hurts alot.

I'm dragging myself to hell everyday just to pleased u.

& Yet, u dun appraciate or give me any support.

Everything I do, since I was a child, nothing is ever enough to u.

My life sucks big time.

I know u care, but jus for once, STOP FORCING ME TO DO THINGS THAT I HATE TO DO!

Note to self: I can never live a happy life.

2008-12-01T19:30:00.004+08:00

For you my sweet angel I would die.

I'd pick all the stars from the sky,

And give them all just for you

To let you know how much I love you

My angel I'll love you thru all eternity,

I would do anything for you sweetie

I wrote this poem from my heart

To let you know you're my sweetheart

Please stay with me forever

Take my hand and lets be together

Lets fly up to the heavens above

And show everyone we are in love

HAPPY 14TH MONTHSARY, MY BABYANGEL.

Note to self: Engaged in a yr's time. Dgn izin tuhan. Insyaallah.

2008-11-30T13:08:00.002+08:00

28th November 2008

It was fun. A must watch movie. I shall rate this lovely story, 5/5 stars.

& If u're interested in learning more about islam or religion, this is a good lesson-learn movie. 5/5 stars.

Note to self: I want more.

2008-11-22T14:27:00.008+08:00

&& I'm finally updating this rusty blog of mine.

As some of u might know that I've been so freaking bzy lately, working both full-tyme & part-tyme job. I decided not to quit, due to those bluved friends I have surrounding me. So, I shall not abandon them jus bcuz of the full-tyme job. But, its freaking tiring. Hah!

Anyway, on the 8th of November, 2008, was such a bzy2 yet happy day for both me and boyf. Why? Both our abg's got married. Yes yes, my abg & his abg. So let the pictures to its talking aite.

To boyf's abg,

SELAMAT PENGGANTIN BARU. (MUHD SHAHDAN&NURLAILEE)

& To my abg,

SELAMAT PENGGATIN BARU. (MUHD AYOB&NURASHEEKEN)

And a big thank-you to the people that came down to rewang.

Note to self: 4 more years. Insyaallah.

2008-11-07T23:26:00.002+08:00

Been bzy.

Full-tyme job's killing me.

Boyf's abg getting married.

&& so is my favourite abg Ayob.

& to my cilakaz, meet u guys this sunday for the rewang aite.

TILL THEN.

Note to self; i should stop blaming u.

2008-11-01T00:12:00.003+08:00

As deep as the ocean.

As strong as our passion.

As endless as the grains of sand on the beach.

That's how much I love you.

HAPPY 13 MONTHS, HUNNEY! =)

note to self; insyaallah.

2008-10-29T09:01:00.004+08:00

I receive a msg from mr ex-boyfriend. Okay, this is really stupid. && rather annoying. This is what the msg says, " What if ur luv 1 wana leave u wen she's going far? She wana me 2 leave her cuz she'll b transfered to somewhere else. I'm reali strez. Help me can?"

Okay. Seriously, what do u wan me to do? Knee down on ur girlfriend & beg her not to leave u? Pfft. I understand that u're feeling so fcuked up and stress about it that u can't even think straight. But by asking me about it, I dun think it will do any better. Work it out on ur own. I won't forever be ur MS ADVISER. Go on, look at the bright side.

&& I'm missing my baby sister. She's out to langkawi. Come home now. I'm getting scared sleeping all alone in the room & the house is so freaking quiet w/out ur presence.

@!#%$^&*%$#@!

note to self; sometimes, breaking up is the best solution.

2008-10-25T21:03:00.003+08:00

Hello.

Okay, seriously I feel lyke blogging. But I have no idea what to blog about.

So maybe next tyme then.

&&& oh, A HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO MR EX-BOYFRIEND, ANDY.

note to self; i had the most wonderful nite wif boyf.

2008-10-18T15:40:00.004+08:00

Sorry for the lag of updates my fellow readers.

HAHAHA!! mcm paham.

Okayy, alot of shits & good things happen lately. Too many to write about, n I jus can't be bothered to type.

Anyway, lets play a game aite. Normally, this game is called, "spot the difference" but for now, lets spot the similarities instead aite.

Spot any similarities yet? I guess not. Well, thats obviously bcuz they dun look alike right. Ohh WTH.!

&&& my friend, here's a song dedicated to you,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

&&, I'll be starting my full-tyme job in 2 days time. Arrghh hell.

Note to self: must I?

2008-10-14T04:39:00.002+08:00

I LOVE MY CRAZY GOOFY SOMETIMES STUPID BUT OH SO AMAZING BOYFRIEND!

& I didn't get the job.

oh well,

lyke what mun said, "good things doesn't come in handy."

work hard to strive for it.

wateva la kann.

Note to self: never give up.

2008-10-13T01:32:00.003+08:00

I'm going for a full-tyme job interview tomorrow.

Wish me luck, people.

To you my friend, i know you'll be reading this one day. Jus wanna let u know, no matter what happens u still have ur friends around aite. Work things out with her. Hopefully nothing bad or sad. Come what may, look on the bright side of life. Wishing u the best. =D

&& to my dearest boyf, get well soon dear. Drink lots of water, okayy? Much loves.

Note to self: still going on strong.

2008-10-11T02:45:00.005+08:00

Ini kisah cinta tentang dua remaja. Adakah hanya sementara ataupun selamanya?

Ku terperangkap dalam kabus yang gelap.

Tak dapat bayangkan diriku tanpamu.

Semakin hari ku semakin rindu.

Hati yang teguris kini jadi sendu.

Hatiku tertutup kerna apa.

Agak ku salah langkah.

Tidak pernah sabar.

Cuba hendak mengerti.

Jawapan yang diberi.

Philosophy cinta.

Sudah pudarkan diri.

Tidak akan sekali.

Menyusul kembali.

Cinta yg diberi.

Saat kau menyakiti.

Jiwa raga senyuman diberi.

Memori yg indah akan tetap ku ingati.

Kini ku sedar siapa diriku ini.

Bayanganmu ku sering termimpi-mimpi.

Kata-kata mu hanya manis di bibir.

Usah buat ku sering terfikir-fikir.

Oh mengapa cinta kita berubah?

Oh mengapa cinta kita didusta?

Repeat Chorus

Kini ku merehatkan diri.

Dari segala fikiran.

Cuba menghebahkan.

Pesanan yg bernas lagi bestari.

Cinta itu buta tapi tidak murah.

Tetap dilupakan remaja.

Mengapa dipersiakan kalau tidak rela.

Ini bukan permainan ibarat bonek.

Aku jujur ku teguh.

Tetap ihklas di hati.

Tapi bukan bayangmu yang ku dakapi.

Oh mengapa cinta kita berubah?

Oh mengapa cinta kita didusta?

Repeat Chorus

Note to self: mengapa? haiz.

2008-10-08T15:33:00.003+08:00

I came to think that people come n go in your life. Its either for a season, a reason or a lifetime.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support. To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and that they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons. Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson. Love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a season, a reason or a lifetime.

Note to self; we had a fight last night and I call him mad.

2008-10-05T12:12:00.002+08:00

I need a break, pronto.

Note to self; enough said
.

2008-10-01T02:47:00.003+08:00

Di bulan yang mulia ini, saya ingin menyusun sepuluh jari jemari kepada semua sahabat-sahabat saya yang amat saya cintai, memintak ampun dan maaf jika ada salah dan silap yang sengaja ataupun tidak sengaja. SELAMAT HARI RAYA & MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN!!

&&&&

To my dearest lovable boyf,

We've had our share of buzy times, we've had our share of quiet moments, we've had our share of working hard and at times where we had our riots. We've had our share of making up, we've had our share of differences, we've shared the goods, the greats, we've shared a tear or two. AND I wouldn't trade a moment of the times I've shared with you, bcuz we're lovers & companions.

HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY, LOVE.

Note to self; 1st october is the date to b remembered.

2008-09-27T04:06:00.003+08:00

I miss those NS-Mates outings with the cilakaz.

When can we do that again, people??

cilakaz - the word I learn from munzir. That irritating kiddo who acts like a 22yr old man. HAHAHAHA!! Kk sorry mun, nanti hari raya aku mintak maaf kat kau. Peace. =D

Note to self; 4more days.

2008-09-26T02:01:00.003+08:00

5 MORE DAYS TO HARI RAYA

&&&

. . . . . . .

NOTE TO SELF; BOYF IS LOVE.

baby, 5 more days seyy. Wuhuu.

2008-09-23T01:40:00.007+08:00

Okay. I woke up quite early today. Went polyclinic, tot of getting an M.C. but the waiting queue is darn horrible. It was nearly 40mins and its still a long way for my number to be called, so I gave up. I left the polyclinic. Called my workplace, and there goes 1 record of absence.

Met boyf, accompanied him to IKEA. Bought several candles, sofa pillows, storage boxes and a tissue holder. Went back to his crib to put all the shopping stuffs and which after that, boyf and I proceed to AMK Hub to Iftar. Had fish&Co. Seafood Platter is loove. After getting our stomach full, boyf wanted to go geylang, cuz we still haven't bought our baju raya. && yes, we finally got our white couple set. Boyf's baju cuz him only 28bucks bt mine cuz 60bucks. Haha. Sorry baby. Nanti I dpt duit raya, I bayar u alik kayy. Had our supper cum sahur at Teh Tarik. Then home.

Hairi had a fight wif his brother. Hey Ri, not that I dislike ur brother but he is a pain in the ass aite. & obviously u know it. No matter what he is still ur own flesh and blood. Work it out aite. Raya's around the corner, how much u hate him right now, u still have to seek his forgiveness as cuz he's elder than u. Anyway, I'm jus a call away if u need sumone to talk too.

Andy, the x boyf called me for three days straight. Its been 1year since we last talk or see each other. His call suprised me badly. & the worst shocking thing ever was him saying that he misses me, how he wish we were still together, how he regret leaving me, blah blah and blah. Boy, I'm seriously happy that we actually did went separate ways. My 1 year wif u was a total mistake. No matter how much I were in love wif u last time, but that was in the past. Life's move on. & its been more than 1year that we broke up. U found urs, I found mine. Mayb this is what our life's supposed to be. No used saying all those words jus to make me go weak on my knee. I'm happy wif my life now, so please dun make it worst. But, I'm still here as a friend.

Gosh! Its been a long tyme since I met Faz. Beb, where u uh? Bzy working is it? Msg u everytime, dunwan reply. *sobs*

&&
to the dearest boyf,

At times the days seemed so long,

I thought I'd never make it through,
Then suddenly, out of a dream,

I have met someone like you.

I had locked up all my feelings and

I'd thrown away the key,
Until your heart spoke a thousand words

I knew we were meant to be.

When times turned rough and lonely,

and despair fell upon my face,
You comforted me

and kept me safe in that loving special place.

You don't realize what you have

and what you've done for me,
But the way you managed to steal my heart

is what has set me free.

You've given me a feeling that

no one else could ever change,
Your love has touched a place in me that

I always found so strange.

It's as if you were cut right out of a spell

cast upon my heart,
Because the crazy thing about it is,

I've loved you from the start.

No one in this wide world

could touch the feelings we share;
To the seconds I spend with you,

nothing can compare.

You've opened my eyes and heart

just enough and let me live,
You've changed my world with magic

and the kindness that you give.

My heart was broken once,

and I thought love was so far away,
But you came into my life

and showed me a better day.

Like crystal clear blue waters

or a magical sunset,
That moment speaks a thousand words

to which no price can be met.

I wish I could just stop time

and spend the whole night in your eyes,
For when I'm with you

there's a feeling even I cannot describe.

Although my heart holds painful memories

that will never be erased,
You touch me with a love so strong

it hides that lonely place.

Heartbreak, loss and misery

were all I ever knew,
Until someone showed me happiness

and that someone was you.

Your gentle words and loving arms

lift me up when I am down,
And, baby, with all you've done for me

you've turned my world around.

Your love is so consistent,

like the waves that break on shore,
And with every day my love for you still grows,

just more and more.

When broken dreams still fill my days

and nothing's going right,
You reassure me with your smile

and give me back my sight.

You sweep a spell across my heart,

like a breeze across the sea,
And you fill my world with beautiful dreams

& feelings meant to be.

The way you live,

the way you love and even so much more,
With every smile that you give,

you're all I could ask for.

You are in every breath I take

and in every tear I cry,
You're in every star

I wish upon up in the lovely sky.

Every day with you is heaven,

like an angel from above,
A million magic moments sent

to give you all my love.

You are living proof that prayers

and dreams really do come true,
And I thank Allah for that special day

He blessed my heart with you.

I could speak of a thousand promises

or even bet my very soul,
the rest of my life,

I'll be touched with a feeling no one can control.

Fate, destiny or magic

may be the reason that we met,
But all I know is the days with you

I never will forget.

Until the day I found you

I never knew a love so true,
But from today until eternity

I swear I'll be loving you!

Baby, u know its true.

2008-09-15T01:13:00.003+08:00

Its the 14th day of the fasting month. I am so proud of myself, not even a single day that I skipped. Alhamdullilah.

I know I should not reminisce about the past. Lyke most people would say, "WHAT'S PAST IS PAST." Furthermore, I found someone and have been spending for almost a year with, I should not be crying over spilled milk.

Anyway, boyf and I were about to go supper when the DJ Radio station played this song online, and boyf started singing it. Its been on a repeat mode in my head ever since. I know the song is way too jiwang, that's obviously my boyf's genre. && I kindda like it though.

Happy listening. Haha! I wished.

Note to self; anger management classes.

2008-09-10T01:43:00.005+08:00

How is it possible that someone could actually cry while watching cartoon?

Well, truth is, I could. I was watching WALL-E online. And seriously, it made me cry. Sad yet a lovely story.

For those who's still yet to catch the movie, trust me, its worth watching.

Anyway, I was bloghop-ping and I came across this one blog. I dun really know the girl but I did know the guy VERY well. Browsing and reading through each and every post. Loving couple indeed. Sweet. Just when I was abt the click on the little red box with the ' X ' on it, I saw this one picture, he was wearing the RED ADIDAS watch. Forgive me if i got this wrong, I dunnoe whether if its the same watch u're still wearing that I bought for u or mayb its a different one, but looking at it reminds me of all the past. Heart-ache. Sudden flashbacks. What the FCUK?!

Life's move on. I'm glad I did. & sure my life's now is a blessing. Happy happy.

It was Zaki's day serving the nation. Haha. He book in this morning. He called, we chat. But not for long. He have to get sufficient sleep since its his first day. Abg2 police. Ghairah la katakan. Still the same old him.

Zaki : Da brape hari ponteng puase?
Me : Sorry ckit ehk. Since the first day sampai skrang tk pernah ponteng. Org da insaf la skrang.
Zaki : Insaf? Kirekan skrang da jadi bdk baik uh? Bh dulu?
Me : Dulu, sial.
Zaki : Bagus! Da sedar kan? Dulu sial.

Cb. Haha.

It was the 8th September yesterday. Hairi my friend, I'm so teribbly sorry, I've fogotten that it was ur b'day last night. I deserve a tight slap.

If I could choose for you, the kind of birthday you deserve...
I would choose a day as warm as your smile...
as kind as your ways...
as generous as your heart...
& as wonderful as you are...

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY MY FRIEND.!

I owe you a bday treat.

Note to sesth; ILYSM.

2008-09-08T03:02:00.003+08:00

Hello.

An update, yet again.

1st September 2008,
As for all the muslim knew that it was the first day/beginning of fasting month. N it was also my 11monthsary with boyf. We headed down to orchard road to break-fast cum celebrating our 11months of togetherness. Bought myself a new jeans, vest and a pair of shoes.

6th September 2008,
It was my younger sister's 15th birthday. Daddy made a reservation at an Indonesian Restaurant just beside Plaza Singapura. Went shopping. Daddy n Mummy bought me a new desktop. Delivery man will be sending it this thursday. Yippie.

7th September 2008,
Elder sister got jealous about me getting a new desktop, so Daddy n Mummy had to buy for her one for herself too. Wtf? Spend the night breaking fast with family at home. Met boyf and my Abg Ayob with Kak Eken at 8pm. Went down geylang. We spend half an hour looking for parking. It was so hard to get the car, parked. Was supposed to get a new bedsheet and curtains for my room. N not forgetting baju kurung couple set, raya shoes n bag, but ended up buying dengdeng and otak-otak. After all those perspiration, we decided to have our supper cum sahur at newton. Proceed home at 230am.

Boyf and I had a fight before we went geylang, stupid fight. Hell. I'm glad everything's settled.

Now, I wonder, does boyf really know how much he means to me?

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night shivering from fright feeling empty. Feeling nothing because I think about how it would be if he weren't there or here when I need him. And then I wonder if he really know how very much he mean to me. How incredible I think he is. How he is a part of all my emotions. How he is the deepest meaning in my life. Baby, please always know that I love you more than anything else in the world.

I LOVE YOU.

11 months and still counting.

2008-08-19T02:49:00.002+08:00

Another boring night, another random update.

I think i should get sleeping pills. My eyes get sleepy only at 6 in the morning and I'll be sleeping till 3 in the afternoon. Sucks. Research says that smokers tend to have less sleep or difficulties in sleeping. Is it? Guess i should stop smoking too, then.

Spend another day with boyf, yet again. Head down to wisma, to get Ika's psp fixed. After a long ride from woodlands to town, only to found out that its the psp charger that needs to get repaired, not the psp. Wtf? & there goes my 20bucks. Chillax wif boyf. Tons n tons of laughter. Dinner at Carl's Jr. Then home.

Boyf wans a psp or a ps3 for his birthday prezzie. So i told him that i too, wans a prezzie which is a lappy & it only costs $699, ACER. I dun mind getting it as an advance birthday gift, dear. HAHA!

Sister recommended me to proceed down through agency. It would be much more easier but the pay will be less. I dun mind actually, as long as i could gain some experience bfore i finally decided to look for a job that would last me for the rest of my life.

&& I'm super hungry right now, so i guess i should stop typing.

2008-08-18T03:48:00.002+08:00

Hello all.

Actually, i've nuting to blog, it's just that i'm bored and i think blogging is just wat i need to do.

Today was a mundane day. Was supposed to head down sentosa wif the NS-mates. Farewell party for one of the boys. Bt i fell asleep. Woke up at 12 in the afternoon, with 22 missed calls n 2 messages. Heh. Sorry hor Hairi.

So then i thought of staying home since there's no other plans. Bt even that planned was cancelled due to boyf.

He called,

Boyf : Yang, my mom wants u to join us? Trun umah my makcik.
Me : Huh? For wat?
Boyf : My adik sedare nye birthday.
Me : Mampos! Tknk uh.
Boyf : Asal?
Me : No reason. I just dunwan to.
Boyf : Okayla.
Me : Kirim salam je uh.

I was shocked to hear that. I know its nearly been a year for boyf and me but still i dun think i'm ready to face the rest of his loved ones.

Meet up wif boyf later. Went Juntion 8. Had dinner at MOS. Played bowling at Yishun Safra. Then home.

Hairi called. Sharing all the stories abt the sentosa outing. Haha.! Too bad i wasn't there.

Anyway, there's still no replies from any of the resumes that i send. Wtf?
Should i try agencies?

I'm doomed. Life sucks as always.

2008-08-14T04:11:00.002+08:00

Just a random update.

Finally, I have the time to blog, even when I know that no one reads this half-dead thinggy.

Boredom strikes.

When out wif boyf earlier today, no plans. Boyf wanted to head down to town as it has been a long tyme for hym since the last tyme he went there. Poor boyf.
Had dinner at lucky plaza.
Then played pool. I won. Haha! Boyf doesn't feel satisfied, so he challenged me by playing arcade - DAYTONA && I won again. Haha!

Guess it wasn't ur day dear.

Was supposed to meet up wif the NS-mates, since I plan to bowl but it doesn't turn up the way I wanted it to be. So boyf and I went home.

I'm feeling kindda dissapointed right now. I send almost 10 resumes to 10 different job offers but none replied. Its been two days. Gosh!

Why is it so hard to get a job? Or is it just me?
Heh.

Okay, done typing.

Will be back again, soon.

2008-05-27T23:53:00.002+08:00

HELLO LITTLE BOYS, LITTLE TOYS.

I don't think I have anymore time or space to update this thinggy.

Been bzy with the part-tyme job, searching for the full-tyme job - even with two diploma certs', its hard. Friends but mostly boyf of course.

Final words - I'M ON HIATUS.
Will be back soon, I supposed.

2008-05-13T17:43:00.006+08:00

I was so lethargic going back to work after three whole straight days of off.

Work was fine. Did some screaming& scolding to some indian guests who thinks that singapore is lyke their india that they can just simply cut queue. Fcuking morons. Call me racist. I don't care. Cuz seriously, its sucks. Read ( NOT LOCAL OR HIGH CLASS INDIANS ). Its native indians that i hate the most. No offense to indian readers. I have indian friends at work & they too hate those native indians. Okayy, i shall stop wif the indians.

Anyway, recognise him? Its James Blunt. He was there at work with 11 of his friends. His short, mind you. Really short.

On the 10th last week, had an NS- mates outing again. It was supposed to be an early morning outing to east coast, but it turns out to be a late night ghost hunting. Haha. But it was fun. Rent two cars, 10 of us. I was the only girl that night.

Let the pictures to its talking,

Pics all blurry. Idkw.

YOURS TRULY.

2008-05-10T00:04:00.003+08:00

Daddy called up & said, " Eh, this month on the 18 make urself free in the morning. Ajak sesth (my boyf). Ikot umie n bapak pegi syarahan (maulud)". <- not the correct spelling I think.

Called boyf. Told him. His reaction, "Huh? Asal tibe2 ur parents nk ajak I pegi syarahan eh? Da lama seyy I tk pegi".

HAHAHAHA!!

Anyway, a short& lovely poem for boyf,

I say i love you
but what does that mean?
I'll be with you forever
and take the title of being your queen.

I will discover a chemistry
i thought we never had
And go through obstacles
both good and bad.

I want to be with you
forever and ever.
I want to be with you
for the good and the better.

I'm saying i love you
because i really care.
I'm saying i love you
and i'll always be there.

&&& will be going out with the NS-mates to eastcoast tmrw.

2008-05-01T02:20:00.002+08:00

Since Meeting You

I Know that Love

Is the Most Important Feeling

One Can Have

I used to think that love was only real in the movies and that I enjoyed being alone. I used to think that I was too independent that I didn't need anyone because I was so strong. But after meeting you I realize that my attitude towards love was merely a cover-up of my disappointment with my past relationships. I put on a strong, non-caring front so no one would know how I felt. But after meeting you, I could no longer pretend. My feelings became transparent and now I want to tell the world something I always knew but was afraid to admit that love is the most important feeling one can have and I want to thank you for causing me to be honest with myself and others.

I LOVE YOU.

HAPPY 7TH MONTHS OF TOGETHERNESS.

2008-04-30T03:51:00.003+08:00

Met boyf after work at amk mrt. Made our way to THE CATHAY, dhoby ghaut.

Watch HAROLD&KUMAR AT 930pm. Hilarious show. Boyf & I just couldn't stop laughing.

Did some shopping & munching bfore the movie starts. Bought myself a long sleeve white top with a hoddie. Wanted to buy that Lonsdale jacket but its over my budget. So had to wait till I get my next salary.

Sister recommended me to buy clothes online, which is much2 more cheaper. None of the clothes caught my sight. Anyway, its hard for me to shop online, cuz I can hardly find my size. Heh. Fyi, I'm wearing XS or size 6. I dun trust FREE SIZES.

Boyf had a long shopping list this month. Went down to MUSTAFA CENTRE to get his stuffs. After abt an hour or so we manage to complete the whole shopping list including some of mine. Then, Al-ameen for supper.

Beb faz bought me a hp pouch from bangkok. Thanks.

&&& everyday, work's just getting more more more suck-ier ?

watever.

yours truly.

2008-04-22T03:18:00.002+08:00

It was a very unlucky night for me. Seriously, unlucky.

It was at 1am, the normal time which I usually reached home after work. Nuting happen to me for the past 6 to 7 months working there & reaching home at that timing. Only for this one unlucky night I had. I was chased by a drunk bangla. I was lucky (only this part I was) that my brother-in-law happen to be somewhere around my blk. && so he chased that stupid mutherfcuking idiotic bangla away.

Gosh! I'm glad nuting happen. It was the worst night ever.

Anyway, works getting more & more boring because of the stupid new regulations. Lyke seriously, WTF?

I so can't wait to be 21, and to be receiving governments money. Heh.
Boyf's getting. Yeay!

& I shall update again soon.

2008-04-16T14:56:00.002+08:00

Its been a very f.bored day for me during the past few days. ??? It sound so wrong. Nvm. I brought Faz to Night Safari since there's nothing for me to do at home. Faz is as timid as a mouse to do the Walking Trails. She keeps on saying, "What if the animals escape? Let's go somewhere safe." Haha. But she loves the Tram Ride. Watched the animal show which Faz scream so loud during the part that the snake had gone "missing". So the very the kecoh la this girl. Waited for boyf. Went AL-AMEEN for supper.

Walked Faz home. Really in need to use the loo. Faz invited boyf & me to chill out at her crib, watched some CDs && that ended up as a sleepover. Faz absent herself from work due to boyf& I were sleeping over at her crib. Watched so many different CDs. Mostly all ghost stories. Slept only during the next morning. & woke up in the afternoon. TVs. Munchies. Bathe. Get ready. Off to cwp. Watched a movie - DEFINATELY, MAYBE. Interesting show. Dinner at banquet.
After movie, smoke break. Finally, home.

I slept at 11pm till 2pm the next day. Haha.

Lets do this again sometymes.

Work, later. Heard that Ah Moon got suspended. Very clever boy. Doing~

2008-04-11T01:16:00.008+08:00

Okayy. Here are some random pictures taken during the NS-mates outing on the 5th of April.

YOURS TRULY.

Work sucks. I need my full-tyme job urgently.

Chand is gay. Fcuking gay!

FCUK U!!

Okay bye.

2008-04-08T01:11:00.003+08:00

NS-mates outing.

Hang up the fone with boyf at 5++ in the morning. I couldn't sleep. I keep rolling & turning on my bed, yet still i couldn't force myself to sleep. So, i woke boyf up at 9am, telling him that I couldn't sleep. Boyf then came up with a plan. His plan was the ZOO. So yarr, I got myself ready and then met boyf at 10++. It was so darn hot la, cann. So I told boyf that I wanna get my hair cut since my hair is in a mess. After had my hair cut, boyf and me went clueless. We had nowhere to go, cuz I don't feel like going to the ZOO as the sun will make my skin tan-? (correct spelling?) Had lunch at cwp, then walk around, bought some puzzle book at popular, chilled out at OJ.

4++pm, Hairi finally woke up. Met Anwar& him at marsiling mrt to get the van that we rent for our outing. Fetch Amin, Moon& Fajar. Then we proceed to AL-AZHAR for dinner. After dinner, went NS to fetch Shafiq& Fiza after work to join us for supper. Went newton, had seadfood. Tomyam, baby-kailan, BBQ stingray, LFC (Liverpool Fried Chicken), Kerang & Sambal sotong. After supper, we head ourself to mustafa centre. Bought myself some facial& makeup products. I love shopping at mustafa la okayy. Its cheap. Plusplusplus there's so much things to shop. After mustafa, we chilled out at seletar dam till 6am. Everyone went home after that except for hairi, boyf& me.

After everyone else had gone home, Hairi, boyf& me went home for awhile to bathe and get ready for sentosa. Nothing much that we did at sentosa, since I hate sunny wethers. We only went for the Cable-car, 4D-MAGIX, Skyride and Underwater World. Had lunch at Lestari Yishun. Called Moon, send him off to work. Then hairi& boyf send me home.

I slept from 930pm till 3pm the next day.

Tiring yet njoyable day&night spend.

I wanna do this again la cann.

Pictures @ AL-AZHAR. . . . .

Moon, Amin, Hairi

Fajar, Anwar, Sesth

THEM! (My NS-mates.)

Yours Truly.

More pictures will be updated again, soon.

2008-04-04T02:28:00.001+08:00

No matter how much I try ignoring you or force myself to hate you, the more I can't live without you & the more I LOVE YOU.!

I apologised for being ridiculous.

I need you.

2008-04-02T18:12:00.002+08:00

I told boyf to wake me up at 1pm, cuz we're meeting at 3pm. But even when boyf tried waking me up, I was still asleep. I finally woke up at 230pm. Haha. Boyf came over to my place just to wait for me to get ready. We finally made our way out at 445pm.

It was our monthsary and boyf had everything planned, which I was still clueless at that moment. His plan was to take me up the DHL balloon, den go round the singapore river in the TONGKANG ride and dinner. Due to my lateness, poor boyf had to change every plan. Haha. && the new plan was SINGAPORE FLYERS!!!! yippie. 0ne ticket cuz $29.50 la seyy for just 30mins. But boyf and me get to ride it for free. Haha!! How come? Boyf's cuzzen working there la seyy. & we get the 1 whole capsule to ourself. Had dinner at popeye's. Had a 30mins fish spa & 10mins body massage. Then lau pa sat for supper.

Home at 230am.

Thanks boyf for the joyful night.

HAPPY 6TH MONTH OF TOGETHERNESS.!

2008-03-18T00:14:00.001+08:00

OKAYY!!!

i'm back wif blogspot again.

yay!

how cool is that?

HAHAHA!!!

2007-02-01T01:25:00.000+08:00

HELLO CRAZY - OZ.!!
singapore won again. congrats.

I've been spending my days job hunting. N i'm effin tired. I jus tot tat its a total waste of tyme, effort and money. Been to so many places but none did i get. Not even one interview. All i did was filling up forms. N i'm totally hating this phrase, "Okay, we'll send this to the HR and they'll give u a call." FCUK U PPL LA CAN!! call? haha.!! I nearly give up. But BF doesnt. He'll call me every morning and say, "B. angun! g siap. carik keje." He's putting much more effort den i do. He's the one dat bought straits time everyday for jus wanting to have a look at the RECRUIT/CLASSIFIED page. He's the one dat asked every HR office whether is there any vacancies. Easy said, he's the one dat did everything. He didn't give up. N i'm proud to have sumone lyke hym in my lyfe. I appreciate every second he spend on me. - Put aside the hurts he'd been giving me. ( tu lain cerite uhk. bastard freak. )

Met daffy. 1 of my crazy - oz. We chat. N yeah faz, i know every single thing. Haha. So the kecoh-ness. Guess dere's not a need to ask u wat happen on dat day. But i still longed to hear the side part of ur story. Kay career woman?

N ppl here's a reminder - IF U DO SEE ME OUTSIDE WITH BF N U MIGHT BEEN WANTING TO SIT WIF ME AWHILE FOR A CHAT, PLEASH DO NOT TALK ABOUT BLOG, MSN OR FRIENDSTER THINGYY.!! I REPEAT, DO NOT.!! BF hates it. He hates me doing all this shit. Okayy can? Please.

To the ppl dat not showing me ur corncern but been reading my blog not wanting me to know dat u still do care about me, dun be afraid. Do tag!! BEFORE U LEAVE. idiotics. pfft.

Bitch am i? OHH YEA!!

Goodbye Hearts.

2007-01-28T03:08:00.000+08:00

Yeay! Finally after 4hrs of match, Singapore WON. Cheers to Singapore.
Okayy had an uber fun tyme at cousin nina's house. Even w/out any photos taken we had stuffs to do that kills tyme. Checking of Naufal's hp, wad a playboy cousin i had. Chit chatting of stupid shits. N obviously la watching of football match. I totally had a stress-release-day. Everyone is so the totally kecoh-ness. I jus felt that i miss my family so much. Its been awhile since i last saw them. The last family gathering i attended was on i-cant-even-remember when. And to my cousins, we have yet to discuss wen will our cousin day out be. But first, i nid a job.

Recommendations anione?

Jus as i tot i could find some peace n quiet at home, i felt vibration and andy's name appeared on my Hp. He made me cry more than 6 tymes last nite. He finally decided to end the relationship. So I let myself go. I answered his call with the tot, 'wat more does he wan'. Here's the conversation. He is such a jerk.

Hym: Hey sayang. Uat pe? Da alik from ur makcik hse?
Me: Wat? Sayang? U sure or nt u call the right number?
Hym: Jus hear wad i've got to say.
Me: Hmm-mmm.
Hym: I am so sorry abt last nite. I had no idea wats got into my mind dat made me decide to leave u. Soon i realise that its not possibly to let u go. I jus wan u in my life. Mcm everywhere i go i nmpk muke u.
Me: (laffing) Ape u ingat muke i muke poster pe?
Hym: No la. Dats not wad i mean.
Me: Ya lah stop the crap. I noe wad u mean. So wad nw?
Hym: We're still an item kay. I not gonna take dis relationship for granted.
Me: Oh okayy la can.

And the conversation goes on till we both fell asleep. Dats basically hw i talk to guys wen im in the malas nk layan mood.

Miting hym tomorrow. Jus hoping everything goes well.
N its tyme for me to slip. Okayy dabis!

Goodbye Hearts.

2007-01-26T03:13:00.000+08:00

New skin again la can. So white n so fresh. Luvin it. Para pap pap pa.

Been a week looking for jobs. Many interview i've gone to but none did i get. Bf getting tired skipping lessons and absent from school jus to accompany me but in the end its all not worth. Sorry dearest.

Got no job. But got money go shopping la can. Bought myself a new puma handbeg. Bf buying me tat bling bling puma belt next week as promised. N trying very hard to get money to buy that puma couple watch for valentines. Got discount okayy. pfft. Den spend on Bf $110 jus for a black jacket kayy. But it looks damn nice on hym and im luvin it every syngle tyme i saw hym wearing it.

Things are getting a bit smooth between me n Bf. Hope it stays this way.

Aniwae Bf, im not forgetting kay. U owe me an mp3.

Okay can. Im done!

Goodbye Hearts.

2007-01-20T06:19:00.000+08:00

I couldn't have been much more stupid that dis, could i?

I shouldn't have still loving u afta u did this to me thrice, should i?

Everything is so unfair. I guess i jus have to wait. I believe in KARMA okay. Lets jus see what u'll get afta doing me shit. I dun keep grudges. I jus have my own way to make u feel how u make me feel. Den only u'll know how much it hurts.

ITS PAY BACK TYME!

Y didnt i hear it from u?

Y didnt u inform me?

Y must i know it from my fren?

If u had told me earlier, i should have known. I mayb have given u the green-light. Cuz i know that u both are only frens. But still, everything does matter okay. Its RELATIONSHIP that we're holding on to. Not any oder normal friendship. Even friends do not hurt friends. Get wat i mean? No? Den u're the one whu's stupid. Not me.

I'm still here. Standing. Luving u the same way lyke how it is. But BF, ppl change. I hope i dun.

Here's sumthing for you...

I try hard not to think about you, but your always on my mind. No matter what i do, i can never leave the thought of you behind. I try to close my eyes at night, but the thought of you keeps me awake. I need to feel you right now, so i can take away this ache. I have this feelings in my heart, when u are not around, when im with you i feel so happy, when im not i cant help but frown. I never thought i'd say this but i need you here with me. When im with you, i feel so free. Theres not a day that, youre not in my heart, i never felt a love like this, i cant see us being apart. The love i got for you, it grows more each and every day. Theres a phrase in my heart, that will always remain, i will always love you and... that will never change.

Its been now - many months, and much is said and done. We both were really angry, and we both were really down. People got involved, to tear us both apart. They had alteria motives, and lied thru their arse. After all that happened, I am here still for you, still ignoring them, and saying I love you. I would do anything, I'd cheat, I'd lie, I'd die, to change the past for us both, to stop your pain inside. If i could be erased, to make smile again, I'd it in a second, to ease your awful pain. I took the bad on the chin and stood there by your side. I hope that you will see, that I'm committed just to you, I've put all I have on the line, only cause I love you. You know I do still love you, with whats left of my heart. You know I would do anything, you only have to ask.
I don't know what the future holds, for it I cannot see but I know no matter what I'll love you for eternity.

HAPPY 7TH MONTHSARY HUNNEY. <33

Luving u more each day.

Goodbye Hearts.

2007-01-17T04:38:00.000+08:00

An update.
Ohkies. Nuting much happen lately. School had started for Bf. Exams cuming for me. Grr.!

I'm in need of a job. I dun wanna b jobless la can. Any recommendation? Contact me. I still owe Bf a bdae present okay. My hp bill's overdue. Craving for shopping spree. Help me kay, No? Pretty pls. Yes okay.

Went shopping with parents last sunday. It was awesome. We shall do it again sumtymes kay miie.? Mum bought me two tops from topshop n a top from miss selfridge. I want more lahs. I luv that black jeans from miss selfridge. $99 only bahh. Can ehk? Dad bought new shoes. PUMA seyy. Den had dinner at secret recipe. A total of $98.90 jus on food. But it was uber delicious. Again, shall we?

Bf is being such an idiotic dis daes. Btw dearest Bf, u owe me an mp3. I want that samsung k5 aite. Thanks. *waiting*

Goodbye Hearts.

2007-01-11T01:48:00.000+08:00

I tot i cld find sum peace n quite. But guess not. My days becoming much more worst. *sigh*

Okay i admit. I was at fault the oder day. I shldnt have jus thrown my anger. Once again sorry to the so called, 'budak2 jurong' la kan.

Dearest bf, stop assuming wat u think is always rite. Dere's nuting going on wif me and 'dat guy'. No reason for u to get so fcuked up and jeolous abt. Tats the past okay? Y are u making such a big fuss out of it. Enuff of fiting la. Can u jus let everything go? Let bygones be bygones. Forgive n forget pls. N u might have forgotten, me here, a bitch. U can jus go if u hate my way. Dun keep on complaining n nag about the way i treated u but yet still wanting me to b wif u. Im much sure dere are oder better gals outside which cld give u dat HAPPINESS. I'm sick and tired quarelling wif u abt the same stuff again n again everynite. Its no use. I can change, but can u? Haah! I noe i may b such a pain in the arse, rude, rebellious to u sumtymes. But down deep in me, do u even noe? U dun care.! All u want was me to b the way u wan me to b. Dat aint me okay.? I am wat i am. Accept it or leave it. Okay fcuk. I may have said dis but it doesn't change abit abt my feelings for u. I've said dis many times, its u i want. Its u i need. No matter wat it's still u i love.

Baby pls understand me. Muacks.

Ohya. I'm turning 19. Wee~

Goodbye Hearts.

2007-01-05T01:58:00.000+08:00

Lost

Angry

Sad

Mad

Crazy

Pissed Off

Fucked up

Confused Bitch

Screwed up BF

Swollen Eyes

Cut Wrists

Slashed Neck

Bruises Hands n Legs

Spoiled Hp

Insecure

Thinking of Dying

High Fever

Satiesfied? Hope u guys are. U ppl succeed in making me this way. So now can u guys jus let me be what i am? If yes, thanks alot. If no, wat else can i do u make u guys happy?!!

To dearest bf, i jus wish one day i could make u cry n beg on ur knees. I'll make u feel how much pain i've suffered crying everynite thinking of u n ways to make u happy. Tats wen i call it my sweetest revenge n tats wen i'll b violently happy.

Well, CAN I REST IN PEACE NOW.? ENUFF OF SHIT OKAY.!!

Goodbye Hearts.

2007-01-01T20:02:00.000+08:00

yeah rite. well, it was supposed to be a happy new year but mine's suxs. the worst (wif a capital W) new year celebration ever. u guys should have known. yup. andy and me had a huge conflict.
when will dis ever stop?
will it ever be okay?
where's my happy ending ever after? haiz.

actually not quite in the mood to blog.

goodbye 06. hello 07.

HAPPY NEW YEAR BLOGGERS!

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-12-28T19:37:00.000+08:00

Okay.
I totally forgotten i had class test tomorrow n i haven't studied a single bit of it.
Hahs. Baby also didn't remind me.

Yesterday was baby's day off n finally got to mit hym. First, wen down his crib. Woke hym up. Got ourself ready n off to cwp. Kindda boring cuz we didnt planned where to go. It was a last minute outing. We had our dinner at BK. Den we did sum window shopping. Baby had me tried on alot of clothes. But not even one tat i like. Den we tried on sum shoes n slipper. Got myself a PUMA slipper. Using baby's money la of cuz. Hahas. To b frank, he bought it for me la. We went courts. Looking at furnitures. Chosing which furniture we want to buy wen we get married. Hahakz. Banyak berangan sei. But it was fun. Baby tot of playing pool so he asked faz to tag along. But faz ritched late at arnd 11+pm and the place closed at 12am, so we jus chilled around. Baby feel sad. Cuz he really wanted to play pool. Hahas. Dis sundae kay baby. U me n faz. N dun forget, u promised tat u're gonna treat me n faz dinner. Wee~ Took sum pics. Smoke n off to our seperate ways. Not gonna meet baby till sunday. Haiz. Missing ya loads la.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-12-27T04:36:00.000+08:00

Was having a terrible stomach cramp. Got an M.C.
Didn't went to work.

Hey baby, sorry for treating u differently jus nw. Dere's too much playing on my mind. Sum1 told me tat guys want me jus bcoz of using me not luving me. Sumtymes i felt as if it is true but wen i express it to u and telling u wat i feel bout u treating me, u said it wasnt true. U tried comforting me and proof it to me how much u really do care and luved me. U even asked ur mom to talk to me jus now, asking her to tell me how much u really do want me bcoz of me n not using me. N asking ur mom to let me not to believe wat other ppl say. I was totally silent, hearing those beautiful words coming out from ur mom and those feelings u express it to ur mom regarding me. I jus dunnoe wat to do or say. I jus wanna give up. N i mean totally give up on everything. I jus hate to feel dis way. I hate to lose sum1. I hate to fight. I hate wen ppl say things to make me feel insecure.

Feeling so down and upset dis daes. Haiz.

The only person tat knows me well. The only person tat i turn to wen i'm down. The only person whu noes wat i lyke n dun lyke. The only person whu noes whu i really love and whu i really hate. The only person whu noes which guy i'll be interested in. The only person whu i express my feelings to. The only person whu noes my dirty little secret. The only person whum i trust n not gonna let go.. NOOR FAZILAH! Sorry beb for not meeting u jus now. Problems occured. Wasn't in the mood. Hope u understand. Luv ya bebs.

And sorry nez to keep u waiting for my reply msged. And sorry if the way i msged u jus nw makes u feel lyke as if i'm mad or lazy to layan u. I was jus feeling down. Anyway,how was the interview? Hehh.

And shakir, im sorry to if i answered ur called jus nw n sound as if i was pissed off by u. I wasn't at ur fault. I jus doesnt feel lyke talking to anyone.

Sorry everyone.! Wif much love.

Urs truly.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-12-25T22:26:00.000+08:00

Okay.
Accompanied dearest baby andy to werk.
Went home alone.
Didnt had my keys.
Stayed outside for almost 2hrs for my parents to come home.
Damn sia.

Now helping my dearest beb faz changing her blogskin. Some errors going on. Cant figure out y. Haiz. Anyway,uber boring sia. Tomorrow werking. Off daes no more. Damn.!

Baby andy, i'm sorry. it was my mistake jus now. I shldn't have done that. Muacks dearest. Missing u every second.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-12-22T01:30:00.000+08:00

my cutie cat. we called it manje. she likes to play hide and seek. n make that kecian face. haha.

been spending the last three days wif dearest andy.
both hym n me took daes off. its been so difficult for us to meet often eversince he started werking at changi airport n me at orchard. our timing of werk clash and number of hrs we werk never gets us the chance to meet. hmmph.!

Monday, 18/12/06

was otw to werk as usual. at novena mrt station, andy called. he asked me to meet hym instead. so i cabut kerje. haha. accompanied hym to Dover ITE. he wanted to apply a new course. which he will be taking next year. trainingship automotive (if i'm nt wrong). bt he still hasn't confirm which company he wants to join. we reached dere late and the person says "come back again tomorrow." -_-. buat penat aku je cabut kerje. den we walked to the bustop. wen we were abt to board the bus, andy jus realised his hp is not wif hym. so kite patah alik dover ite and search. he left it in the toilet. luckily no one took it. eat lunch at banquet jurong point. den off to woodlands.

Tuesday, 19/12/06

woke damn early. 0730am. accompanied dearest baby to dover ite again. and dis tyme i was so pissed off. go dere stakat amik brochure, attend talk-briefing regarding the course den go home. wtf sak? registration is via internet. aarggh.! -_-. wen back woodlands. it was only 11+am den. walked arnd causeway point. baby wanted to check the price for sony ericsson w850i twin pack. which he and me are saving money nw to buy it. ritch home at 1230pm. tot of sleeping, but faz called. asking me to meet her at 5pm at orchard. so i took a nap and woke up at 3pm. get change and off to orchard. faz jus got her pay. she asked me to call andy and asked hym to tag along. faz keep on saying "PLEASE,trun town uhk. jmp aku n matair kau. aku blanje mkn uhk" to andy on the phone. it was raining heavily. i seriously njoyed my day wif baby and faz. faz treat us to NYDC. i ate meatball spagetti. baby had roasted chicken spagetti. faz had the 7inch pizza. our drinks,chocolate cream shakes. it cost $80.50 altogether. after a few hrs our stomach hurts. feels like bloating. faz and andy were so kecoh. keep disturbing each other. calling one another stoopid, belo, biol, dumbass and lots more. me at the middle of them jus keeps on laffing my ass out. i love to see my blarrdy gdfren n my bloved boifren get along well. n nw everywhere we go is always the three of us. i love them both loads.

Wednesday, 20/12/06

its my anniversary. slipover at andy's hse. i woke up and noticed he wasn't arnd. so called hym and he said he was otw back. he asked me to get myself washed up. he reached home. he tied my eyes wif a tie. telling me not to peep. i was surprised wen i saw he bought me my favourite chocolate fanfare cake wif "happy 6th anniversary baby. <3"

today is like any other daes. back to werk again. till next week i get to meet hym again. haiz.

baby, everytime we fight, u always said that mayb bcoz we are not suit to b together.

jus wanna tell u tat if you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today? If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way? If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call. If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all. I never know what the future brings But I know you are here with me now. We’ll make it through and I hope you are the one I share my life with. I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand. If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed? If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head? If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life? If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you everynite.? I don’t know why you’re so far away but I know that this much is true. We’ll make it through and I hope you are the one I share my life with and I wish that you could be the one I die with and I pray in you’re the one I build my home with. I hope I love you all my life. bcoz I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away. And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today. bcoz I love you, whether it’s wrong or right. And though I can’t be with you tonight. And know my heart is by your side.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-12-19T12:33:00.000+08:00

Okay.
clock strikes 0000hrs on 201206.
tats wen i shouted "happy 6mnths anni baby"

hmm. been so lazy going to werk. i guess bcoz its raining. so tats make me feel lyke sleeping at home the whole day mcm babi. but still i drag my whole body all the way to orchard road. met faz at 5pm. walked arnd orchard. eat. smoke. chill. den off to woodlands. met andy. watched movie. of course free movie la. watched cinderella. den watched eragon. mummy called. asked to come down hse. she cooked. and no one's eating. so its kindda save money. haha. so wen down andy's crib.

bomb wanted to meet yesterday. but i can't. n i am so blarddy forgetful. didnt msged hym about not meeting. guess he's mad at me right now. sorry u.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-12-17T01:05:00.000+08:00

woke up extremely early todae.
0930. wanted to shut my eyes again but couldnt.
so i walked to the bathroom and had my body washed.
werked started at 2pm. took my own swiit tyme getting ready.
was otw to werk inside train at bishan station, received a msg. it was my supervisor.
she said, " hey, today u no need come work."
i was lyke.. cibai kia la. siang2 tknk msg.
den at the right timing, andy mom called.

terperanjat saks aku.

the conversation goes;
mummy: halo, seri kat mane?
me: dlm train otw balik. kenape?
mummy: ehk? k la. dtg umah ehk. andy demam panas.
me: andy yg suruh mummy kol seri ehk?
mummy: tkla. mie nk blg je. bwk kunci umah mummy tk?
me: bwk. kay2 nanti seri dtg.
mummy: kay bye.

ritch my 2nd hse. mummy already left for werk. went inside baby's room, he was so asleep with the blanket all over hym. kiss his forehead. could feel his body was so damn hot. kecian aku ngok dia. cook for hym instant chicken porridge. two pills panadol and a glass of water.

wake hym up.
den he goes, wif his terperanjat face, "hey u."
i went, "bgn2! makan bubur nie den makan obat den tdo alik".
but den after dat he washed up and get ready to werk.
demam2 pun nk g keje.

accompanied hym to werk.

otw home, bomb called.
asked to come dwn town. he is wif fyd. told hym i'll call hym back.
ritch home, feeling so effin tired. lay dwn on my bed n i fell asleep.
dad woke me up at 8pm. ask me to get ready. going out for dinner.
ritch home at arnd 1045pm. den dere's dis cute lil kitten was sitting outside my hse door. so mum decide to take it in. its a female. she's indeed so bijak.
den kakak call at 1130pm. ask me out for supper. together wif her boifren.
chilled at al-ameen till 145am. den her boifren drive us home.
well thats about my day today.
wondering how's he doing at werk.

any ideas wat shall i name the kitten?

anyway bomb, i dunnoe wat else shall i say to u. haiz.

a story of two guys and a girl.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-12-16T00:38:00.000+08:00

it was a total disaster last nite.
we fought on the fone like mad cows.
i was shouting at hym like a mad dog.
all he did was trying to calm me down.
he keep on saying, "shssh. tkmu marah2 la."
but as usual i couldnt control myself.
i keep on shouting and screaming, scolding hym.
was so blarddy pissed off.
wasnt able to settle down last nite.
so kakak spoke to hym.
and everything went quite ok after that.
got swollen black eyes.
cried too much.

hey baby, i apologized for the fight last nite. but u were at the wrong. y is it for hard for me to hear u say that u really doesnt want any fights between us, that u really want to b wif me, that u didnt mean for the things u did to me. u take things lightly and u took everything as a joke. is it so hard for u to get serious wif me even for jus a day. wats wif the huge ego baby? i feel so insecure. baby pls. i know that no matter how much i hurt u or how much we quarrel u still do want to be wif me. but b dat doesnt proof any love. doesnt mean by showing me that u love me is by buying me expensive gifts. i want u to b dere wen i nid u. i want u to hug me tightly and never let go. i want u to wipe of my tears. i want u to understand me. i want u to keep on talking to me wenever i'm feeling down. i jus want u.! baby the feelings i had for u simply can't compared to others. no matter hw much i tried to forget u its still u i want. hoping that one day u'll realise hw much u mean to me. tc hunney. i'm missing u. muacks.

haiz. anybody cares to spend the saturday and sunday wif me? make me release my stress. anyone? i would really want that.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-12-15T01:17:00.000+08:00

was so blarddy late for werk.
should come at 2pm but i ritch at 4pm.
hahaha. say wat?
was awaken by bomb's call at 1245pm.
luckily. thanks u.
not much of paperwork to do.
end quite early.
wanting to meet my baby at his werkplace. but couldnt get thru hym. his hp batt low so he switch it off. too bad for me.

otw home inside bus, dere's dis guy average age arnd 20+ sat beside me. weird looking. mcm belo2. he was carrying an umbrella. and tat umbrella kept falling on the floor with a loud effect and i guess he's been picking up his umbrella more den 10 times. stoopid sak. the other thing is he keep shivering. mcm org kene spasm sak. everytime he shivers,he'll turn and looked at me. mintak kene pam je. but tk uhk. all i did was showing hym my middle finger. haha. he stood up and sat infront.

alighting the bus, i sat one side, smoking while waiting for my other bus to arrive. den dere's dis apek2 look walked pass me. he turned and saw me. guess wat he did? dia peng la and walked directly to me. my heart was beating fast. i quickly stood up. he stood right in front of me. i turn left, he turned left. i turned right he turned right. senang kata mane2 aku jln dia ikot uhk. i hurriedly walked to a crowded place. and he's gone.! fuhhh.

told baby bout dis and he started to feel worry leaving me alone going home at nite after work. haiz. baby, i know i did things tat makes u feel mad. i did things tat makes u hate me. i did things tat makes u feel hurt. and after all this things i did u, u're still here for me. never once make me feel left out.i appreciate ur kindness b. muacks.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-12-13T16:11:00.000+08:00

2nd day was tough. Lots of paperwork.
Didnt had my lunch or even went to the loo for 8hrs.
okay, was bzy filing documents and the phone rings.
guess who? ANDY la.
received his msges few hrs before his call. didnt reply any of them nor even interested in reading it.
here goes the conversation;

hym: hey b katne?

me: keje uhk. asal sei? u?

hym: asl kelua g keje tk msg org? dgr2 da tk tau report. i msg dari semlm pun tk reply. i pun kat keje.

me: wahh. dgr2 i sape u sak skrang. remember wat u said to me last nyte? the 'B' word.

hym: haiz. i didnt mean wat i say la. i was so blarrdy pissed off sak. i really didnt notice that coming out from my lips. after work meet me? i miss u fcuking lots. im so sorry baby.

one minute silent.

me: haiz. dunnoe la. i da bis keje i msg. org ngah bzy uhk. bye!

after the conversation, receive his msg saying tat "asl u bbl ngan i mcm tk suke sei?". i was lyke wtf? wat to u expect me to be lyke? happy? after the awful conversation i had wif u last nite, wat do u tink i was feeling.

anyway, i end work at 1030pm. he ends at 230am. and he wans me to come down all the way from orchard to airport jus to meet hym. that didnt happen. i went home straight. told hym to meet some other days. not really in the mood to meet hym. mayb i jus need to release everything that he did to me.

Day by day im becoming much more lazier to update my blog. hmmph!

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-12-12T02:41:00.000+08:00

FUCK U UHK.!!!!!!!!

im not a blarddy toy which u think u can do anything u wan to me. wen u need me u come find me. but wen u dun, u throw me aside and ask for a break up. wat the hell is wrong wif u. n to my stupid-ness, i was blarddy blinded by ur love. no matter hw much it hurts me to blarddy continue this relationship wif u, i still do wan too and i still need u in my life every single seconds. i blarddy miss u wen i dun get to see u. i blarddy hate it everytime u didnt msg me. i feel blarrdy lonely wen i dun get to hear ur voice. u will never understand hw much pain i feel jus for u, the only one guy.

Ur the first and only guy that makes me cry everynite bfore i go to sleep. The only guy that makes me go crazy or even dare to blarddy kill myself everytime u hurt my feelings. The only guy that makes me so hard to control myself. No guy ever makes me feel this way. Y do i love u? im searching for the answers myself. hope u really feel satisfied after doing all this shit to me. jus wanna tell u that i've never regretted knowing u. n will always luv u and miss u and treasure u. guess dere's no other guy that's gonna treat me the same way u did. no heart for others. take care cute guy. muacks.!

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-12-09T16:51:00.000+08:00

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
I would hold you in my arms
I would take away the pain
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wanna do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I hurt myself by hating you Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I want to do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've had myself If I had just one more day,
I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so I'm afraid to try to turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've had myself
By hurting you

Dearest andy, eversince u started werking. Its been so hard for us to meet. And i jus wanna let u know that i miss u every second of my life. Muacks dearest.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-11-29T00:38:00.000+08:00

Wen down jurong. Met bomb. Chilled under void deck.
Talked shit. It was cool.
Was supposed to meet andy in the airport at arnd 8+pm but change of plan.
Met hym at wlds aniway. Everyting wen cool too. He wanted to patch tings up after the seperation.
Eat zinger again.
Everyday zinger, zinger, zinger.!
Den chilled wif Faz, Duffy and Ghaz.
It was a laffing gaz.
We were really the kecoh.
Mcm civic tu kite yg punye.
But it was total fun.
Andy were xtremely different today.
Acted so manje.
Aini called.
Broke up wif shai.
I was WTF is going on.
Stay strong kay bebs.
Abt me and andy pun...
Haiz.
And Andy, pls try to change ur bloody fcuking irritating bastard attitude can?
Frankly i'm starting to hate u more everyday and loving u less n less.
Meeting u does makes me happy but seeing ur face.. ARGGH.!
U wont know hw i truly feel. No one noes actually.
I do say to ppl tat i do love u and i do say to ppl tat i do hate u.
I'm confused okay ppl. This andy is jus........................ Haiyoo.!
Btw bomb, the question u ask. Hmmm? i dunnoe wheather its a yes or no bud i surely do noe tat i'm not going to answer.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-11-24T02:48:00.000+08:00

ALL I NEED WAS TO SEE U CARE.
PLS DUN IGNORE ME ANYMORE BABY.
U'LL NEVER REALISE HW MUCH U MEAN TO ME.
I'VE SAID THINGS TAT I MIGHT MADE U HATE ME.
NO MATTER HW MUCH I TRIED HATING U OR FORCING MYSELF TO FORGET U, I FAILED.
U WERE ALWAYS HERE IN MY MIND.
U LEAVE ME IN DESPAIR.
I MISS UR LAUGHTER.
UR HUGS.
UR KISSES.
I MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT U HUNNEY.
IF ONLY U KNOW.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-10-30T15:33:00.000+08:00

My family at my crib. (saw the butterfly design bhind? i did tat)
Tis is wat we sisters will do everytime we get in the car.
Us cuzzins. (sape paling lawa? hahaha.!)
Me and kakak.
Us cuzzins again. All attached. No syngles. Weee.

Okay. Didnt quite njoy my first day of raya. Cuz didnt get alot of green packets. Haha. No la. I had stomach flu during raya. Ciian kann. My syg pun same. Both of us had been 'sms'ing each other complaining tat our stomach hurts. Haha. Didnt get to drink all those gassy soft drinks. All i had was warm water. Sad kann. Tats not all. Didnt get to rase the sambal sotong's. The sambal goreng and all. Bencii tau. Tk suke seii. But wen it comes to taking pics. Saket perut semua ilang. Part amek gmbr semua idop.! Wuhuu.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-10-29T12:38:00.000+08:00

25 October 06
One day after raya was my baby's boi bdae. Went VIVO CITY. Watched Death Note. Den we went Sentosa. To Pahlawan beach. Had lots of fun wif baby. Bought hym a slice of chocolate cake. Its was superly delicious. Baby wanted more. So bought two more slice otw home. Baby was so 'manje' on that day. We didn't quarrel for the whole day. It felt good. Hahaha.
Aniwae, my duit raya all gone. Spend it on baby. But it was worth. Baby's lovin it. Para pap pap paa.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-10-22T22:11:00.000+08:00

Nezzy Dearest
Methricals Of Life
Aby and B aka Busyuk (Me_Andy)
Acap and Pipit (tats me bhind)
Lastly, Bomb Darling

To them, aini and faz.

Them who never fails to put a smile on my face.

Them who always make me feel loved by sumone.

Them who will forever stays in my heart.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA. MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN.

AMPUN SALAH SILAP YG PERNAH RYN UAT. ATAU TERKASAR BAHASA.

HALALKAN MAKAN MINUM RYN. MAAFKAN RYN OKAY PPL? heee.

Luv u all. Muacks.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-10-21T01:22:00.000+08:00

Another update.

Okaay. I really dunnoe wat's going on in my babyboy's mind. He is acting so strangly dis daes. Always wanting to meet me every now and then. Get pissed off easily or angry if i couldnt meet hym. Is always sending me to werk and picking me up from werk nw. Never let me the chance to wonder of by myself. Need to inform hym everywhere i go. Everything i do. And everyone who smsed me. Been crying alot infront of me. Hugging me tight and never let go. Kissing endlessly. Blaming me for the things i never did wrong. Guess that's real love huh? Heee. As long as my heart belongs to u, i'll always b here baby. No worries. Muacks.!

Btw, my darling baby andy will b away for 7 years. For further studies.

Sayang, 7 years seii. OMG.! I'll b crying lyke shit everynite missing u sei b. How i wish tat 7 years pass so soon. B, within that years aniting can happen. I'm blarddy scared. 7 years seii b. Haiz.

Aniway, happy 4mnths baby. =D

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-10-11T14:48:00.000+08:00

Okay.
Finally and updated. Been so effin lazy.
Well, jus came back from the airport.
Aunty's going away for HAJI.
Did some food shopping wif mommy. And nw feeling hungry.
Hehee. Fasting mnth. Haiya.
Couldnt wait for raya.
Mayb next week will b going geylang or kampung glam wif andy.
Shopping of baju raya.
We were planning to wear maroon this year.
Since last year we wore black.
Aniwae, andy's being a pain in the arse this few weeks.
Has been accusing me on everything which i didnt do wrong.
I jus dun feel the same towards hym animore.
I no longer feel the love from you and no wanting to love you again.
Guess we shld start it all over again hunn.
And stop accusing me.
I'm so sick and tired quarrelling wif you everynite.
And to hear or see you cry hurts me dear.
Mayb we shld talk things out huh?
Okay larr.
Suddenly no mood to blog.
Haiz.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-09-25T02:29:00.000+08:00

HAPPY RAMADHAN.!!!!

Goodbye Hearts

2006-09-20T04:00:00.000+08:00

Ohkays.
This mnth is the worst mnth ever i've celebrated anniversary wif andy.
Its been 1 week straight we've been quarrelling everynite.
I'm so getting sick and tired all of this.
All i want was a happy relationship.
Which we understands each other.
Forgive and forget.
I've always been giving in.
Syg, pls la. All i wanted is for u to show appreaciation.
I jus want u to know that i care.
I may b harsh sumtymes but dun take it hard dear.
It wasn't my inttention to make u cry.
I was jus feeling so fucked up.
U've been good darl.
But jus show me that i'm equally important to u in ur lyfe.
No matter what baby, I STILL LOVE U.!
HAPPY 3RD ANNIVERSARYY.!!!!

Boy, Boy I'm Going Out Of My Mind
Mind, And Even Though I Don't Really Know You,
I Must Have Been Running Out Of Time
I'm Waiting For The Moment I Can Show You
Show You, And Baby Boy I Want You To Know I'm Watching You Go
I'm Watching You Pass Me By
It's Real Love That You Don't Know About
Baby I Was There All Alone
When You Be Doing THings I Would Watch You
I Pictured You And Me All Alone
I'm Wishing You Were Someone I Could Talk To
I Gotta Get You Outta My Head
But Baby Boy I Gotta See You Once Again
It's Real Love That YOu Don't Know About
Every Now And Then I'd Go To Sleep
I Couldn't Stop Dreaming About You
Your Love Has Got Me Feeling Kinda Weak
I Really Can't See Me WIthout You
And Now You Run Around In My Head
I'm Never Gonna Let You Slip Away Again
AgainIt's Real Love That YOu DOn't Know About
Every Now And Then When I Watch You
I Wish That I Could Tell You That I Want You
If I Could Have The Chance To Talk To Ya
If I Could Have The Chance To Walk With Ya
Then I Would Stop Holding It In
Ain't Never Have To Go Through This Again
Again, It's Real Love That You Don't Know About
Today When I Saw You Alone
I Knew I Had To Come Up And Approach You
Cuz Boy I Really Gotta To Let You Know
All About The Things You Made Me Go Through
And Now He's Looking At Me In The Eyes
And Now You Got Me Hopin That I Aint Dreaming Again
Again, It's Real Love That You Dont' Know About
Your The One That I Want And No one Can Take You From Me
No, No No No
And Even Though I Don't Really Know You
I Got A Lot Of Love I Wanna Show You
And You Be There Right In Front Of Me
I See You Passing In Front Of Me
I Know ...No
Boy I Need Your Love
Baby I Need Your Love
Once again, HAPPY ANNI.!
Muacks.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-09-13T15:11:00.000+08:00

UPDATED.!

8/9/06
Watch THE HOST wif aini.
Den watch LITTLE MAN wif aini + andy and his friends. But separate seats.
Chilled till 3+.
Send aini home.
Went al-ameen wif andy for supper.
Saw shai, roy, mantot, alep and the rest.
Had prata cheese.
Wuhuu.!

9/9/06
Went town wif andy.
Passed ciggies to aini.
Saw hym. ( u guys shld noe whu the "hym" i'm referring to. the one i gave the adidas watch.)
Andy was lyke, "ehk u, tu ur kesayangan. g la ngan dia. i rase mcm berslh gtu take u from hym."
WTF sia.!
Den went esplanade.
Took the last bus 960 home.

10/9/06
Werk as usual.

11/9/06
Went pasir ris.
Andy accompanied.
Visit grandpa.
Grandpa getting well.
Yeay.

Okay. Guess thats all.
Not really in the mood to blog.
Tc bloggers.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-08-29T02:58:00.000+08:00

Had a huge conflict wif syg jus now.
We were so close to breaking up. But we manage to handle the situation in a peaceful way.
So everythings okay now.
Thank God.

So went out wif Yus Aini.
Watch ghost game.
Hahaha.
Kecoh-ness.! Amciam aini ngok wayang free? best kan. Haha.

Will be sleeping over at syg's crib tmrw nite. Mummy wans me to take care of adek coz he's having a high fever and no one else to look after hym wen mummy, daddy, abg and syg not at home.
Have yet to ask my umie and bapak for permission.
Aniwae wont b werking till friday. Wuhuu.!

Btw mang, thanks for inviting me to the gig dis sat. But i dun think i'm going. Surely that sum1 wouldn't like to see me there. Hmmph.! I confirm wif u dis friday kays.

Tc den.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-08-27T16:18:00.000+08:00

Hope everything's gonna be okay now.
Pls. No more fights.
Thats enuff.
May u be satisfied after everything u said and everything that happen.
Coz i want all of this stupid thinggy to stop.
I'm happy now wif my life and the guy i'm wif.
Hope u find sumone better than me.
I'm sorry.!

Okay. Jus got home from aunty's crib.
Grandpa, get well soon aites.
Didn't get to spend the day wif darling.
Haiz.
Last week met his whole family.
Went to bedok sinar restaurant or sumthing. Can't really remember the name.
Had dinner there.
His family was so damn cool.
His aunty's and uncles were great.
One of his aunt sat bside me and we chat. His aunt said that if i can get andy to school everyday w/out fail and asked hym to study well, his aunt gonna sponsor a car went he got his liecense next year.
Fuhyoo.!
Sayang, better study hard.
U're gonna get a car for free.
Wuuhuuu...

Aniwae, titanicore kids gonna have a bbq pit this coming 16.
Can't wait.
Okay all.
That's it.
Tc everyone.
Muacks.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-08-24T15:28:00.000+08:00

Okaay.!
A stupid phone call spoilt my whole day. Thanks to u whom i once loved.
A stupid guy voice irritates me. Saying tat 99% voted blablabla.
EHK HELLO.! WAT THE FCUK SAK KAU.!!
I'm asking only u. All i want was u to answer me sincerely from the bottom of ur heart.
I'm blarddy confused u noe that.! Chiibai.
Firstly, u said i mean nuting to u and u wanted me to returned the watch.
Den u said it was unintented. Those were anger words that came out from ur mouth. U did ask min to call me in the middle of the night seeking for forgiveness and really wanted me to keep it for rememberance.
Its was sweet okays.!
But now u said u want it back again.
Jus bcoz i'm with andy, u said i dun appreciate.
Fcuking hell.
Bcoz of ur words i'm with andy right now.!
If by me being wif andy make u so blarddy jealous and making my life confused den fine.! I'll leave andy.
I'll leave andy, i'll leave hanis and i'll leave u too.!
Being alone is much more better than having a companian that makes life's miserable.
Does that make u happy now?
Can't u jus let my life go on w/out getting confused.?
We fought bcoz of hanis.
And now we fought bcoz of andy?
Wats next.?
If me being wif other guys not u makes us fight, den i'll b wif u okays?!! If only tat makes u happy.
Dere's no need for u to care whether i'm happy or not. All i want was u to b happy.
Please la. All of these has got to stop..!!!
Kill me la sumone. I gave up living in this world.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-08-22T02:13:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since i update.

Here's a recap.

Okaay.!

Ryn is now officially known as ANDY'S GIRLFRIEND.

Its up to u to whether or not to accept the truth but this is the truth. I know i've hurt u badly and i dun deserve to b the one u've waiting for. And now its tyme for me to let go and stop hurting u. I dun wan to do dis animore.

After wat everything had happen.
I finally came to a decision and decide wats best for me.
Precisely bcoz sumone said i mean nuting to hym. He doesn't wanna see me again. He never treat as though i've existed. I'm a two-headed snake. I sux. I dun appreaciate things. I'm an attitude bitch.
I'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry.
Kill me if u feel lyke it.
I deserve that.
I'll return the watch to u.
I promise.!
As soon as i have the tyme to, i'll meet aini and asked her to pass it to u.
U can have it back.
I'm sorry if the watch is not as good as new.

And to darling, enuff of fighting pls.
I hate it wen it happens.
Forgive me for my wrong doings.

TAINTEDhearts.

2006-08-12T02:09:00.000+08:00

Dere's so many things going on wif my life now.
Its easy to say den done.
I'm realy confused.
Am i at fault?
Do i feel guilty now?
Have i regretted after everyting tat happen?
How i wish my lfye wudn't b dis complicated.
Haiz.
Ohkay. enuff of emo.
Haha.

So here i am updating.
My leg is recovering now.
At least i cud walk.
Aniwae last saturday i received a suprised from andy.
At arnd 1150pm i got a msged saying tat dere's sumting outside my hse door. so i went outside and i saw dis box from breadtalk.
Is my favourite chocolate cake.!
I had no idea wat is he trying to proof but tat chocolate cake is realy sedap-licious.

Ohkay.

Dis year's national day sucks hardcore.
Waste my blarrdy tyme going down esplanade but dere's no fireworks.
Lyke wat the....HELL.
School is realy stressing me out.
Exams are arnd the corner.
Aiyoh.!

Got to meet my lesbian partner jus now, Aini.
She fetch me from school.
NAIK BASIKAL.
Sweet rite.
Mane mau dpt kwn nie mcm. susah dtg nye. Haha.
Aini, every friday fetch me from school uhk. Ohkay?
Hehehs.
I'm missing my b'luved.
U guys noe whu u are. THE METHRICALS.

To my only TITANICORE KIDS, dun forget bout dis saturday.!

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-08-02T01:47:00.000+08:00

Okaay! at last got the tyme to update. wuhuu.!
Too fast and too furious, tokyo drift a must see movie!!
SUPERB BEB.
I wanna watch again larr.
Last saturday finally get to meet my b'luved. THE METHRICALS. yeay!
Went to arts house for their performance. cool seii.
Nez started talking to me.
He accidentally spoiled the adidas watch i bought for hym. but luckilly he had it fixed. if not. . . . aiyoh!!
Andy no longer werking. he got fired. haiz. stupid larr.
Okaay.
Now i want chocolate cake.
Take care all. Luv ya,

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-07-19T01:52:00.000+08:00

I'M CRAVING FOR CHOCOLATE FUDGE CREAM CAKE.
buy for me pls sumone. can can??
i'll let u try some den.
kay kay.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-07-16T15:52:00.000+08:00

Hmm. kays.
Last min plan, yesterdae wen to baybeats.
Ritch there at 10pm.
It was kindda boring to me.
Dunnoe y but i wasn't njoying maself there.
So i went home at 11pm.
Haha.

And oh ya.
Its lyke OMFG.!
I saw muhammad hanis bin ramlan.
Arrghh!
Of all person, y must hym.?
Haiz.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-07-12T21:56:00.000+08:00

Okaays. been super bzy wif life.
will be updating only wen i got the tyme too.

Saturday - 8/7/06

wen out wif cathay peeps.
hafiz, dafi, andy, khairul, danial, sidiq, an and me. as usual, the only gerl.
proceed town.
wen topman.
saw amin, shahrul and ju.
haiz. missing methricals alot man.!
played pool at lucky.
had dinner.
den wen esplanade and chill.
ritch home at 5am.

Sunday - 9/7/06

wen town wif andy after werk.
he bought me the escada perfume worth $108 and a blouse from esprite worth $79.90
didnt wan it but i were forced to accept it.
den we played pool.
andy lose.
we played 5 games.
i won 3. haha.
met dafi and chilled till 730am.

Monday - 10/7/06

stayed the whole day at home.
effing tired.
min called.
we talked.
he ask me to tag along tis 29july.
entrance fee $7.

THATS ALL FOR NOW. WILL UPDATE SOON. TC.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-07-01T14:25:00.000+08:00

Okaay!
SUAY UHK!
I can still smell the nail remover thinggy.
Was so in a hurry that i accidentally hit my black nail polish and it shattered on to the floor.
Blarrdy hell.
Now my walls had those small black spots.
Haiz.
Had to pour my whole bottle of nail polish remover on the floor to get the stains out.
Wad a day.!
AARRGGHH.!!!
First day of skol.
Wuuhuu.
I had not make any frens yet.
Know why?
Thats bcoz i'm the youngest in class.
The only TEENAGER.
Ohh god!
How to survive lyke that.?
Aiyoh.
Daddy, i want to quit skol can?
Pretty please.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-06-29T14:54:00.000+08:00

ATTENTION.!!
superman returns is kindda boring.
i'll rate it 2/5 uhk.
but it depends on each individuals.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-06-23T13:21:00.000+08:00

I'M THE WORST GIRLFRIEND ANYONE COULD EVER HAVE.
I SUCK.
I'M BAD.
LET ME GO.
PLEASE DUN LOVE ME.
I DUN WANNA HURT YOU.
I HATE TO FEEL THIS WAY.
I'M SORRY.
KILL ME PLEASE, ANYONE?
CAN?

i miss faz and aini and methricals and the rest.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-06-17T17:25:00.000+08:00

FOUGHT WIF HYM AGAIN IN MSN.!
ARRGHH.!
WTF SIA?
u. stop it la kaays.
u're hurting me.
and its killing me.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-06-16T15:08:00.000+08:00

Okaays.!
New skin again.
But yet the same old layout.
I need more new ideas.
Arrghh.!!!

Lemang, teach me the tripod lycos thinggy larr.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-06-13T01:48:00.000+08:00

i asked you if you believe love at first sight.
you answered yes.
you asked me if i believe love at first sight.
i answered i let you know.
i don't noe why i still can't get you off my mind.
i don't noe why i still feel you in my dreams.
i don't noe why i still care. why, why, why?
it's not that i want not to but i can't help it.
i try to forget that your my addiction, in the end i still don't care;
whether you are here, whether you are there.
you're everywhere to me.
when i close my eyes. i see you. go away. it's wrong.
it's not right. i can't do this. i need to make it right.
you're not helping. please stop appearing.
this is more than obsession. this is more than loving you.
i need to stop. i am trying but i am going no where.
dear scene, let it all fade away.

U SHATTERED THIS LITTLE PIECE OF PAPER HEART DEEPLY.!

I'M HATING U AND SO ARE THEY.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-06-12T00:31:00.000+08:00

Weik.

Today i met 4 of my ex siling friends.

Farah, Nana, Fazliana and Epul.

Farah: Woits. Pantat kau kerje sini.?

Me: A'ah la.

Farah: Da tk skola pe?

Me: Private uhk.

Farah: Kau masih contact faz?

Me: Duhh! Dia kan bestie aku. Haha.

Farah: Aku rindu krg beb. Tolak number. Nanti aku sms.

Me: (gave my number) Okay.! Bye.!

Nana: Seri ehk?

Me: (smile) Duhh.!

Nana: Da brape lama kau kerje sini?

Me: Lama jugak uhk.

Nana: Bile nk kawin?

Me: Hari2 aku kawin.

Nana: Otak kau bodoh.!

Me: Haha. Okaay bye!

Fazliana: Kerje pe?

Me: Ehk tkla. Nk g merompak. On pe?

Fazliana: Siak uhk kau! Haha.

Me: Beh tanye soalan pandai.

Fazliana: Kaay la. Pape msg. Bye.!

Epul: Ehk kau?!!

Me: Abeh asal?

Epul: Lain sak muke. Da tembam ehk kau. Musibot.!

Me: "-_-"

Epul: Dari jauh aku da tgk2 kau ingatkan nk kenal2. Skali da dkt2 alamak ni pompan aku kenal.

Me: Haha.

Epul: Ehk kasi number kau.

Me: (gave my number) Okaay la pape msg. Bye.!

I hate my new hairstyle. Damn.!

Andy: Ehk, u gunting rambut?

Me: A'ah seii. Tk lawa kann?

Andy: (touching my stupid hair) Okaay pe. Da mcm pompan2 emo.

Me: Otak u. Rambut kental nie mcm emo ape.

Andy: (still touching) Yelahh. Emo kental. Okaay pe. Haha.

Me: Pantat ahk.! (biting his shoulders)

Aishah: Asal gunting?

Me: Ntah.

Nabila: Ehk cute sak rambut.

Me: Yelah tu.

Nabila: Ehk serious.

Me: Okaay.!

Zuna: Rambut kau style. Tapi u go and dye ur hair. Lagi style.

Me: Okaay.!

Audrey: U cut ur hair?

Me: Yarr. Y uhk?

Audrey: (laughs) U long hair nicer.

Me: "-_-"

Seriously. I gave up. Jus had to wait till my hair grow long again. Grrr.!

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-06-10T16:29:00.000+08:00

Okaay.
Yesterday was fun.
Faz, Acap, Pipit, Bomb and me made a last min plan.
We met at dhoby ghaut.
Watch SLITHER.
Acap was so scared that he shouted till his box of cigerette flew off.
Hahaks.
Had dinner at Long John's Silver.
Chilled out at Plaza Singapura.
Den Pipit went off first.
Zu called.
Proceed to bukit panjang.
Alep's crib.
Met the rest of the methricals dere.
Den the 26 of us went explore the old japanese school and old changi hospital.
Nuting scary. (haha. mcm paham).!
Chilled at seletar camp till 6+am.
Ritch home and i realise that i got 3 long lines of scar. (bekas kene cekau).
Told bomb abt it and he said its nuting.
Okaays.

Alep, next tyme bwk van rilek2 cikit ehk. Cian faz muntah2. Haha.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-06-06T12:18:00.000+08:00

WHY IS IT SO BLARRDY HARD FOR ME TO GET OVER HYM?!!

WHY?!

could someone kindly answer me.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-05-27T01:57:00.000+08:00

Hey 'all.
Met hym.
Was supposed to ritch at 6pm.
As usual i was late.
The movie starts at 7.20pm but i ritch admiralty mrt at 6.45pm.
So he decided to flag a taxi.
Scared that we'll gonna miss the first part.
Ritch dhoby ghaut right on tyme.

He is superly freaking irritating.
Jus wished that i could straggled hym to death at that moment of tyme.
But i couldnt.
Nyahaha.

Den we had our dinner at KFC.
Which i was forced to eat.
Hee.
Is it? "-_-."
Okaay thats all.
Nuting much to elaborate.

I'm running out of cash.
DAMMIT.!!

Btw i have sumting to announce;
DAD, U SUCKS.!
I hate u.
Its not that i wanted it to b.
But u made me this way.
So long and goodnight.

Okaay people.
Njoy.! (;

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-05-26T02:05:00.000+08:00

Okaay.!
Firstly, i'm not in a good mood.
Due to menstruation.
Hate it fcuking much.
YUCKY-YUCKY YUCKS.

But i'm blogging coz dere's sumting i wanna express out.
Sumone complaint abt me.
FCUK U PEOPLE LA EHK.!
Nuting better else to do is it?
Be realistic please.
I dun entertain pathetic patrons.
Tat shows how stupid u people are.
My manager is on my side. Not yours.
So stop wasting ur so free tyme complaining about us.
Neni-neni pu pu.
Haha.

Bomb slept effing early.
Talked for lyke 15mins?
Joking rite?
But yahh. Its true. ONLY 15MINS.
Well, meeting hym tmr aniwae.
Weee. (;

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-05-25T03:03:00.000+08:00

SHAHRYN

was found on 210506

(",)

HAPPY BDAE ZICKIE (;

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-05-18T00:28:00.000+08:00

Went werk as usual.
But was 10mins late.
Lucky for me, manager wasn't in.
Did everything i supposed to do.
Was only doing my job for 1hr when suddenly i was struck by sickness.
I was feeling xtremely cold but at the same tyme i was felling hot.
My eye vision went blurr. I could barely hear my voice when i speak.
Lips turned purple. Legs went weak.
I was about to faint whereby one of the cleaner saw me and he hurried to call one of the staffs to help.
Meifern help. She tot i was joking arnd at first. Hmmmph.!
She held my arm and she was shocked.
"Walau, ur body so cold.! Go inside office and sit. I bring u hot water."
Everybody was asking me to go home and rest. And so i did.

Ummie was sick too. Her knees were swollen. She was limping.
Kakak send ummie to polyclinic. Kakak wanted to send me too. But my head was heavy.
I slept instead.

I dreamt of Nez.
In my dream, he left me a miss call which he usual do last tyme. I called hym back and we talked as normal.
Den i woke up feeling unbelievable.
Dunnoe wheather i wanted tat dream to came true or wishing tat i never dreamt of it in the first place.
I jus dun get it. Sumtyme i miss hym badly. Sumtymes i hated hym so fcuking much.
Y do i simply hearts a person tat is so ungrateful and doesn't appreciate me. Y is it so hard for me to get over hym.
But wen a person that cares, doesn't give a damn abt ur past, grateful and appreciate me.
I could simply jus ignore. <- get wat i mean?
There's a guy out dere waiting for u ryn. Who loves u more than anyone else.
Den y wat in the blarrdy hell are u sitting inside in a dark room thinking of that nasty little brat.?
C'mon ryn. Dun let the dirty past haunts you.
Let it go. Everything that happened in your past was meant to bring you to the choices you have right now. Live in the present.

Okaay. Since bomb said he prefers raggae better than r&b.
So i decide to put sean paul - temperature song on my blog.
Nyahahaha.
But i dun quite tink that sean paul is raggaeton.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-05-16T23:35:00.000+08:00

Weik.
Okaay.!
Jus got my nails in shape and coloured.
Can still sense the smell of the nail polish.
Hurhur.

Faz msged and said that Iman wanted to meet.
Didn't reply to any of Iman's smsed.
Told Faz to tell hym i can't.
Coz meeting dad at night to get my school fees paid.
But, dad ritch home and said he's tired.
Mayb some other day. Grrrr.!
So yahh, ryn was actually at home the whole dae.
Yarr. AT HOME.! AT HOMEEEEEEEE.!

Boringggg.

Elfi's mad.
Couldn't accompany hym to bbdc tmr.
Bcoz i end werk late.
Next tyme? Mayb? If there's gonna be a next tyme.
Heee.
Ampun.!

Ain't gonna talk to bomb tonite.
He's werking.
Together wif some of his methricals friends.
Got to sleep early.
Wuhuu.!

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-05-15T17:30:00.000+08:00

Yesterdae was mother's day.
Met family after werk.
Bought for mom a ring.
Had "LOVE U, UMMIE" craved on it.
Cost $35. Which is equally shared between we 3 sisters.
Went grandma's house.
Had dinner.

Saw Nana.
Didn't talked much.
Just a quick chat.
She's in a rush.

Nana: Hyee.!
Me: Ahhh. Haluu.
Nana: Shahril mane?
Me: Otak kau.!
Both laugh.
Nana: Kla nanti pape aku kol kau beh conference agik ehk.
Me: Nanak. Bluek.!
*smacks butt*
Nana: Haha. Kla bye.
Me: Daaa~

Damn.! Miss her sia.
Elyn, when nk kelua together again? The three of us.
Haiz.
Missing Dan and Khairul too.
The kecoh-ness gang.

Hopefully not werking dis saturday. -_-
I WANNA GO OUT WIF THE METHRICALS BADLY.!

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-05-07T01:48:00.000+08:00

I would give up everything.

Before I'd separate myself from you. After so much suffering.

I've finally found a man that's true. I was all by myself for the longest time. So cold inside.

And the hurt from the heart it would not subside. I felt like dying. Until you saved my life.

Thank God I found you. I was lost without you. My every wish and every dream.

Somehow became reality. When you brought the sunlight. Completed my whole life.

I'm overwhelmed with gratitude. Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you.

I would give you everything. There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do.

To ensure your happiness I'll cherish every part of you.

Because without you beside me I can't survive I don't wanna try.

If you're keeping me warm each and every night I'll be all right. Cause I need you in my life.

See I was so desolate. Before you came to me.

Looking back I guess it shows that we were destined to shine. After the rain to appreciate.

And care for what we have. And I'd go through it all over again. To be able to feel this way.

Thank God I found you. I was lost without you. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude.

My baby I'm so thankful I found you.!

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-05-06T00:26:00.000+08:00

This is the story. The story of me.
In this empty little city, there is only me.
In this empty little city, I cannot feel.
I have lost, lost the least and the most.

There's no one, no one here.
I see every house, all filled with "it".
They are there, happy and satisfied.
I am here, tired and forgotten.

i was thrown out of the house
now here i am alone
searching for a phone
... searching for you alone.

i thought i found u..
but ure not him.
just a companion...
im dying soon.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-05-05T01:13:00.000+08:00

Hang up the fone wif bomb last nite damn early.
Was so bluudy tired.
But still need to practise putting down the fone early everynite coz bomb's schooling.

My legs are so freaking weak.
I was limping all the way thru.
People kept asking me, "asal kau jln gitu?"
And i kept replying, "terseliuh uhk."
Dunnoe what other reasons to say.
Haha.

At last got to meet Dan.
He came visiting me wif two of his new ITE FRENS.
Chilled wif them after werk.
Non-stop laughter.
One of them asked for my number.
I ignored.
He's xtremely cute though.

Saw Elfi.
He's wif a gerl.
Didnt looked at hym.
The sight of hym, irritates me.

Met Faz.
Then met Iman and the rest.
Mayb tmr's outing is to johor.
Will b staying overnight at Iman's crib.

Names of comfirmation;-
Azhari.
Azlan.
Faz.
Hafiz.
Iman.
Wanbrok.
Wawan.
Ryn? -Not confirm.!

Okaaay.
I really need to rest.
Toodles~

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-05-04T02:44:00.000+08:00

Okaay.!
My body, so freaking tired.
Work was stressful.
No mood to laugh.

3 new trainess.
Indonesians.
Was on attachment.
Had to train one of them.
Grrr.!
Difficulties in conversation.
Can't really understand what he's saying.
Heee.
Maaf ya pak. Saya ngak berapa paham si apa yg lu ngomelkan.
Whateva he said jus now,
Aku step macam paham je.
Khahaha.
Ryn siak.

Was supposed to let my abg sedare kesygan in for a free movie.
But bcoz of sum circumstances, he had to pay.
Ampun ehk abgku.

Received a msg from Rauf.
It says, "U, i am sorie.. I have to stop contacting u.. Sorie."
Stupid me.
I replied, "Okaay. Tkpe. Da ade gerl ehk?"
He called and asked me to read that whole text again.
So i check that msged and i realised i didn't read it till the end.
The whole text msged actually says,
"U, i am sorie.. I have to stop contacting u.. Sorie. Bcoz my doctor said i have to avoid anyting tat is sweet. And u r 1 of the top sweetest tings tat i have.."
Kakakakakanina.
Rauf.!!
Ketok kepale.!
It made me laugh.

Bomb's throat becoming more worst.
Did asked hym to see a doctor.
Its really up to hym.
I dun wanna force.

Tomorrow werking morning shift.
Arrghh.!
I miss my kecoh frens.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-05-03T01:08:00.000+08:00

Many things happened.
Awesome day.

Woke up early in the morning.
Went BMC private academy.
Registration was okaay.
Lesson's will start in the month of July.
Wuuhoo.
Two more months of holidae before skewl starts.

Picked Iman from skewl.
ITE Belestier.
Saw 3 of my exs.
One of them is Iman's classmate.
FCUKING SHIT!
Went home wif Iman, Alan and Hafiz.

The bois went home first.
Get changed.
Met Faz, chilled wif her while waiting for the bois.
The bois came down.
Called Zakie, Faisal and the rest.
Asked them to join.
But macam2 alasan yg ku dgr.
Malas nk layan.
Ate long john.
Sat at titanic.
Till 11.30pm.

While waiting for the bus.
Bomb called.
But had to put down the fone.
Saw 2 of my exs.
At the same tyme.
Siak btol.
Adip and Rauf.
Adip jus smiled and walked pass me.
Rauf sat bside me and talked.
Took the same bus as me.
So yarr, we had this long conversation.
He dropped of first.
Sempat plak ckp, "bye u. pape msged".
Smiled at hym and said, "sape yg tk msged sape nie skrang. org tu da sombong."
He laughed and said, "wahh.! marah uhk nie? ketok kepale."
Both laughed.
Hmmm.
Whats past is past.
Let bygones be bygones.
Get over it ryn.
Yeay.!

Iman, padan muke.! Kann badan da merah2. Haha. Usik org lagi la.
Next tyme i'll make sure i peel ur skin off.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-05-01T23:41:00.000+08:00

Weik people.
Woke up at 12pm.
Feeling so lethargic.
Lack of energy.
Been freaking bzy tis past few daes.
Ulang-alik hospital.
Visiting grandpa.
Grandpa's getting well.
Thank GOD.

Went to werk at 6pm.
Was kindda bored.
Elyn, Nana and Dan no longer werking.
They quit.
Bcoz skewl has started for them.
Boring.!
No more kecoh-ness.

2 cute guys asked for my number.
But i ignored.
Heee.
Was werking.
Tkkan nk mengatal.

I was superly in a good mood jus now.
Been serving customers wif a huge smile.

Terserempak Anep inside bus.
Was otw home.
We chilled.
Under ma place.
Talked shit.
Tmr Anep will b starting skewl.
At ITE YISHUN.
Anep, byk2 ITE asal seii ITE YISHUN.?
Yucks.
Btw, klau kenal bdk name Nez rembat tau.!
Kakakakanina.
Dengki sei ryn.
Ish3.!
=D

Received a msg from a familiar number.
But dunnoe who.
Didn't reply.
Malas nk layan.
Khaha.

Okaay.!
I'm shagged.
Not werking tmr.
Gonna lepaks.
Wuhoo.

Goodbye Hearts.

2006-05-01T01:59:00.000+08:00

Stayed home the whole dae.
BOREDOM!

Craving for chocolate fudge ice cream.!

Goodbye Hearts.